Black Hole Knitter

Yummy in my Tummy

2012-01-25T11:41:00.000-08:00

Here's a pic of my first (successful) sourdough batter bread. It's my second try, and I haven't worked out all of the kinks yet, but it's a great basis for further experimentation.

My mother dough is about 80% whole wheat and I'm using 100% whole wheat flour (no white flour at all!). This is the main reason for my choosing to do a batter bread instead of kneaded bread. Anyways, I will post a tutorial for this bread and for my mother dough soon. :)

Later!

What to do, what to do...

2012-01-03T16:42:00.000-08:00

Wow, I really missed this postin' thing ;) I'm not sure what to do...should I just randomly post or what?

Well, there's a voice in the back of my head that says: "Do another challenge. Come on you know you want to. Do it, do it...DO IT!" So, I do have another challenge in mind, but this one is a bit more demanding (and, yes, challenging) than writing whatever I want to for 30 days.

So, here's the challenge (I cringe as I type this). I want to be able to read and write Korean at an intermediate level by my birthday (four months away). Right now, I'm still at a beginner's level. I can read and write, but I rely heavily on my notes and dictionaries. If you noticed, I didn't say "speak". That is only because I don't know any Koreans personally. I have made a couple of friends via FB, but it's not the same as having daily interaction with the language and the its people. No matter, though. When the time is right, I'm sure I'll find someone to speak with face to face.

And, there it is, my new challenge. I'll let you know how it's going. Wish me luck! I'm excited and soooo nervous! 히히히히 ^^ (heeheehee :))

Day 31 - The end is the beginning...

2011-12-31T12:48:00.000-08:00

No recap post today. I just think that there are better things to do today. And, who knows, maybe I'll recap this experience in a later post.

So, I'll leave you with the following poster. I found it on FB and thought it was quite appropriate for the end of this challenge as well as the end of the year. Have a safe New Year's, everyone!

Day 30 - What do you mean it's not anxiety?

2011-12-30T15:37:00.000-08:00

Today, I had my usual therapy session plus my second acupuncture session. I was a little apprehensive about having two therapy session in one day, but I tried to go with it. So, now I'm back from them both, and I must say that it has been quite an informative day.

I was told by both of my therapists that they didn't think that I had an anxiety issue. What? What do you mean I don't have an anxiety disorder? For the past three years, my entire world has been built around the fact that I, in fact, suffered from some type of anxiety-related problem. And now you're telling me that I have been fooling myself? Yes, that's exactly what they were telling.

So you might be wondering: How did that make you feel? And what is your "real issue."

Well, to tell you the truth, it didn't devastate me or rock my world. It actually made sense. I had been doubting the usage of the word "anxiety" for some time. And, I had eradicated the word panic a long time before that. It's just that I felt afraid of having a break down or panic attack in public, but I wasn't really panicked about anything else. I had started to describe my sensation more as "uneasiness" than "anxiety".

So, what is my "real" issue? It's actually more emotionally driven. And that certainly makes sense. I've said this over and over again: I think too much. That isn't a bad thing, but I've made thinking into such a habit, that I never let my emotions come out. They've been strangled inside of me for years. And they are fighting to get out. The anxiety - or rather - anguish comes from the constant struggle between my emotions and my thinking. And, boy, is it a struggle. It's like one of those epic battles from the recent comic book movies. No wonder I'm always to exhausted! There are other related topics, but this is the gist of it. I have to work on my emotions and tone down my thoughts. It's kind of a game changer, but it's a game I'm ready to play. ;)

Well, that's it for today. My last challenge post is tomorrow...see ya then.

Day 29 - New therapy regimen

2011-12-29T18:01:00.000-08:00

Blech! I'm not all that excited about the things that my acupuncture therapist prescribed: some pills, a change in diet, a cleanse, etc. The only thing I'm actually on board with is the elimination of white foods: flour, sugar and salt. Since I'm now only eating fruits in the morning, I know that soon I won't crave sugar anymore. Backstory: I was on the anti-diet a few years back, and I practically eliminated sugar from my diet. I even spent a couple of months not eating processed foods (that was fANtastic!). So, that part of the diet is pretty darn great.

The part that is turning me off is the soaked chia, flaxseed and prune concoction I have to eat before breakfast every morning for one month. I don't need any more fiber in my diet. I'm dead serious. Eating fruits in the morning plus that additional salad at dinner is perfect for me. But, as I am an obedient patient, I'll tough out the gummy stuff...for a while, anyways. The gumminess comes from the chia and makes everything a flavorless tapioca-type gel. So, the flavor and texture ain't the problem (I actually like tapioca), it's the idea of it. The prunes help, but I'm not the biggest fan of prunes. I much prefer other dried fruits.

Anyways, hopefully I'll get over the yuck factor soon.

So, talk to ya' tomorrow. Good night for today.

Day 28 - Yeah, baby!

2011-12-28T15:14:00.000-08:00

I forgot to tell you something about my acupuncture session yesterday. The therapist was gathering the usual info, and she asked my weight. Well, due to an increase in anxiety, I have lost a considerable amount of weight lately. I know this because I fit into clothes that are one to two sizes smaller that my regular clothes. But, in the past every time I thought I had lost a lot of weight, the scale registered one, two or three pounds. So, I was already prepared to hear that that was also the case this time.

Well, it was not the case this time. I've lost about 14 kilos (±30 lbs). Can you believe it?! I certainly can't. I'm ecstatic, and for the first time in my life, I appreciate it.

I know that you want to know exactly how much I weigh, but that ain't gonna happen just yet ;) Sufficed to say, I'm somewhere between a size 10 or 12.

That's it for today. I only have 3 of these left, so I'll try to make them count. Talk to y'all tomorrow!

Day 27 - New Therapy

2011-12-27T17:07:00.000-08:00

I really love alternative therapies. I had been wanting a therapist who was half-way between a psychologist and a reiki therapist...and I found her. If ye asks, ye shall receive.

Well, today I had my first acupuncture session. Freaking A! It was really interesting. I never really was all that gung-ho about acupuncture before, but I heard that this lady did electro-acupuncture. And that reminded of Edgar Cayce. I had been wanting to do a Cayce-type therapy ever since I read about it. See what I mean, ask and ye shall receive. So, I decided to take a shot.

I had needles in my head, chest (heart chakra), wrists, legs and foot (between my first two toes). First off the one in the top of my head immediately stopped me from thinking. Seriously. I couldn't put two thoughts together. Second, the one in my heart chakra hurt as if someone had punched me in the chest. It seemed as if the wind had been knocked out of me. Third, the electrical current was slightly painful - think about the most painful injection you've gotten - but not bad at all.

The only "adverse" effect was that it got really anxious when I realized I couldn't think. I mean, I am constantly thinking, planning, re-planning and organizing. It is so out of my comfort zone just to veg out. It took me a couple of minutes, but I finally found my happy place. It was so weird to be in a trance-like state. I actually smiled a couple of times. When all was said and done, I was tired...more like ultra relaxed...stoned, maybe, hehehe. It took all my concentration to focus on the therapist's explanation.

Anyways, I'm going to start a detox diet, which I have been looking forward to for the past couple of week. I have another session Friday...can't wait.

Until tomorrow!

Day 26 - Ehh...

2011-12-26T13:15:00.000-08:00

Well, today I'm not really in the mood to be all shiny and happy. Don't get me wrong, I'm not having a terrible day. It's just that I'm sick of the ups-and-downs of my mood. Truly, I'm not bummed or depressed or anxious. I'm just tired from the holidays and I want to take a break. You know what I mean?

I work so hard on myself every day. I just want to take some time off and skip and jump and sing and not worry about working on my anxiety or worries. As I'm typing this I must say that I would tell anyone else to "just do it". Whatever!

Tomorrow will be a better day. Until then.

Day 25 - ^______^

2011-12-25T15:41:00.000-08:00

I'll make today's post short and sweet.

It was a fantastic day. My aunt and uncle joined my parents, my sister and me for a delicious Christmas lunch. I always enjoy our family get togethers.

On another front, I learned that my throat tightens up from something other than stress. It seems that whenever I want to remember something, I tighten my throat and clench my jaw to keep from forgetting. Who knew...problem identified. Now, to work on it.

I truly hope that all of you had a wonderful Christmas/Holiday weekend. More than any other year, I feel truly blessed!

Talk to you tomorrow!

Day 24 - Not a White Christmas

2011-12-24T05:26:00.000-08:00

It may not be snowing here (southern hemisphere), but it's all good.

I'm making peach cobbler, stuffing and my homemade gravy for our family meal. My mom is making the turkey. This year we decided to have Christmas lunch instead of dinner, because none of us really like to eat too late at night. My dad is in a great mood and even my sister has gotten into the Christmas spirit.

I hope you and yours have a lovely holiday!

Day 23 - Zentangling

2011-12-23T14:14:00.000-08:00

Yay, I did get a chance to scan my new zentangles! :)

In the last post, I mentioned that these are addictive and fast. But, I didn't mention how meditative they are. Now, when I do my other artwork, I get "into the zone." But, the thing with zentangles is that I go to a completely different place. It's exactly as if I were meditating. You know, as if I were sitting on the floor with the legs crossed and chanting "ohm." I'm totally serious. There is another-worldly peace that comes over me, and I see things with absolute clarity.

Actually, while I was doing the Scape 01, I came the unequivocal decision that I had to go to the city with my aunt for her Christmas shopping. Once again, that could be considered a crazy decision for someone with anxiety disorder...I mean, 4 days before Christmas on the busiest street of the city. While I was doodling all I heard was a calm voice saying: "Yeah, we're going". There was no fear, anxiety or concern. Awesome!

Well, enough gushing. Here are some zentangles :)

Silwam's Pattern, Micron pen on grid paper, 5x5cm

Nina's Pattern, Micron pen on white paper, 10.5 x 5.5 cm

Zentangle Scape 01, Micron pen on watercolor paper, 31 x 20.5 cm

Hope you like them. Talk to you tomorrow!

Day 22 - Nuts

2011-12-23T06:32:00.000-08:00

Ah, nuts! I forgot about yesterday's post :P. Oh, well, I was just really engrossed in other things...

Just a week or so ago, I discovered zentangles. They are AWE-some! I totally fell in love. I am so impressed with the results...and it's such a fast process. I've done a few small zentangles on grid paper. They tend to be more rigid or geometric (depending on your point of view) than zentangles drawn on non-grid paper. And I've done a couple on white paper, too. Either way, though, they are veeeeery addictive.

For me, the most interesting part of the process is the speed. It never takes me more than a couple of hours to finish a "zentangle-scape"...no matter how intricate. I'll upload them so you see what I mean.

Well, talk to you later (in a few hours). Hopefully, I'll have enough time to scan the zentangles for you...fingers crossed!

Day 21 - Come on bedtime ;)

2011-12-21T16:19:00.000-08:00

Today, I went Christmas shopping with my aunt and sister. It's our second annual Holiday Shopping Extravaganza. The tradition started when our aunt asked us to accompany her because her hubby wasn't too enthusiastic about it. It's always a good time...BUT, boy am I tired!

It seems like we didn't do much, but we actually ended up walking around shopping for about 3 hours. Whew! So, I'm planning on finishing the blog, checking some FB, and waiting for my sis to get home to have our customary end-of-the-day work chat. Then, it is off to bed!

All in all a great day. ^___________^

Good night, all! Blog at ya' tomorrow!

Day 20 - T-minus 10 days

2011-12-20T13:41:00.000-08:00

It's very hot today. It's 29°C (±84°F). That may not seem like much, but in a coastal town, it's just under unbearable. The air, the wind, is warm. I'm sure I'll be sleeping on the covers tonight :)

Anyways, I don't have much to say today. I've learned that that's a good thing. Sometimes you have wonderful news or a grand revelation to convey. And other times, you don't have anything to say. Those are the ups and downs of life. It's beautiful.

I hope you are all having a good day whether you have a lot o little to say.

Talk to you later! Tootles :)

Day 19 - Happy

2011-12-19T16:57:00.000-08:00

Oh my goodness, I am sooo tired. I guess it's because I've gone to bed a little too late the last few days, heeheehee.

Even through the tiredness, I must say that I've found a lot of things to smile about today. Nothing in particular, just general things.

I'm happy that my relationships are better every day thanks to my change in attitude. It makes me see and hear what other people say with more objectivity.
I'm happy that some things still scare me, but not enough to keep from doing them. Why am I happy that things scare me? Because it means that I can live with it and it won't rob me of my inner strength.
I'm happy that I have the opportunity to do things that I love to do. It's important to do something you love at least once a day.
I'm happy that I can see the forest and the trees. Details are important, but so is the big picture. The trick is to know when one is more important than the other.
I'm happy that every day I require less and less external validation and every day I get more and more of my own validation. That's called unconditional love...for myself.

Happy Monday, y'all. I hope that your week is wonderful! :)

Day 18 - Oops

2011-12-19T08:44:00.000-08:00

No post for yesterday. Sorry, I forgot. I'll write today's post later this afternoon.

Day 17 - Hmpf!

2011-12-17T06:47:00.000-08:00

I am dreading the new FB changes. I really don't understand what the deal is with providing less and less privacy. It all seems very "high-school" to me. I'm a grown woman, and I use Facebook daily to keep in touch with friends and family from ACROSS THE WORLD. I'm sure that I am not the only one.

Facebook is very convenient for keeping everyone reunited in one spot...and that's my main reason for singing it's praises. But, when I start losing control of my privacy or when it becomes more and more difficult to find and alter my privacy settings, it makes me think twice about keeping my profile.

The last change was awful. (also, totally sure that I'm not the only one who thinks so). The ticker was - and still is - a pain. I only use it for quick answers and seldomly. I don't see why I have to know that so-n-so liked this-n-that or became friends with another so-n-so. And I can't find the turn-off option for that particular information. Yes, I have unsubscribed from everyone's "comments and likes", but I still get informed about them. If anyone has a tip, I'd be happy to hear it.

Anyways, I'm going to wait to see the new time line to see if I definitely leave Facebook for Google+ or if the changes are user-friendly (and privacy-appropriate) enough for me. Here's a link so that you can read up on what you need to do before your profile changes to the time line. Pay close attention to the "frictionless sharing" information.

Hope y'all have a good day! See ya tomorrow...

Day 16 - Zzzz

2011-12-16T16:48:00.000-08:00

Boy, am I beat! This weekend I'm just going to chill. I might even sleep all day...maybe. Oh, and I'm gonna make some Christmas cookies :)

As for today (오늘은 in Korean ;)), therapy was cool...and great :) In the past few weeks I've had several revelations. The cool part is that I don't actually remember them all. Why cool? Well, the deal is that a lesson learned is a lesson forgotten. So, it's a good thing when you don't remember those amazing epiphanies you have. It means that it has become part of your "hard drive" :).

Nevertheless, I've made the effort to remember them so I could share them with you:

I love my friend and wish her the best, but it isn't my place to shield her from harm. That would be keeping her from her road. I must walk beside her not behind her pushing her forward or in front of her dragging her along.
I've always had people in my life singing my praises (yes, I am very blessed). I smiled and thanked them, but I never really shared their enthusiasm for me. Well, I was wrong. They have been showing me that I need to love, admire and respect myself the same way they do. Say it with me: "I'm awesome"...and mean it!
When someone gives/shows you love - in the form of a compliment, hug, etc - don't punt it back. Take it, smile and let it settle into your heart.
Respect your process and its duration.
Respect the process of others.

I know that there are others, but I can't remember them at all (^_______^)...sorry about that.

So, that's it for today. Until mañana :)

Day 15 - "Unexpected" Blessings

2011-12-15T17:51:00.001-08:00

I've learned two lessons since yesterday. One, the day isn't over until it's over. By that I mean that a crappy day can become awesome in an instant. Two, I really do have magical powers! ;) This one is a little more figurative. I had actually wanted an old friend who had recently moved to Chile to come visit me...and she did.

Yesterday, I was having a crappy day. The belly ache gave way to unexpected anxiety. By 9:00 p.m., I had basically given up on the day. Then, I got an SOS from my friend, S. She was in town and needed a place to crash with her daughter. Awesome-sauce. It has been one fun-filled ride since then.

Now, here's a little back story. I haven't really been getting out of my house since March. Seriously. It hasn't been fun especially since I don't want to be stranded in my house (that's not who I am). But, my fear, worry, concern about maybe, possibly having a panic attack in public has kept me from going out too often. I have only recently started to take short walks around town with my sister, and that has been helpful.

Well, when I heard that S was moving back, I felt an overwhelming sense of relief. And I eventually, thought it would be great if she came to me. AND I secretly (even kept it from myself) promised myself that I would make every effort to have fun and go out while she was here IF she did come visit. Low and behold, it happened.

I knew from the get go that they were going to want to go out. I struggled with my decision to go with them all day long...even as we were driving to our destination. But, even though I wasn't at 100%, I knew that I could NOT let my anxiety/fear deprive me of having a good time with one of my closest and dearest friends. It might have been "crazy" for a person who has suffered anxiety disorder to go to a mall 10 days before Christmas, but I said "Bite me, Anxiety".

I know it's hard to get to that place where you stare down your fear and say "I've heard what you have to say, but I'm doing this anyways". But, it IS possible. If anyone out there is suffering from anxiety, depression, or panic disorders KNOW that it is possible. And even if you struggle with keeping it permanent, that's just the circle of life...and if you found it once, you can find it again.

Good night, y'all. Talk to you tomorrow!

Day 14 - Lazy Day

2011-12-14T08:23:00.000-08:00

Boo, I have a tummy ache :( I think it's because I ate too much last night. I took some medicine, and it's worked pretty well. But, I decided to take the day off anyways! :)

That has got to be the most awesome part about being your own boss. Fortunately, the school year is coming to an end, so our workload is also quite light at the moment.

So, for the rest of the day, I will do my best not to worry about anything work- or responsibility-related. I think I might review some Korean and maybe just lay in bed looking at the ceiling. Ah, life really is grand!

Until tomorrow :)

Day 13 - Snowflakes and Tree :)

2011-12-13T17:41:00.000-08:00

Two of my favorite snowflakes :)

Three tiny snowflakes (±1-1/2" diam) on my bedroom door

Our Christmas Tree. I thought that anything too snowy just wouldn't cut it what with the glorious lack of it here xD (except for the snowflakes, of course...but they were a must have!). So, I've gone for a more modern type of decoration. I'm really happy with the results so far. If you want to know how to make this tree, check it out here. It's really simple, but a little time consuming. If your going to make one, don't get a really thick magazine. This one was a Glamour.

I also made a quick and easy wreath...will post that soon.
Bye for now :)

Day 12 - Fail

2011-12-12T17:19:00.000-08:00

So, today I started with the freakin' Christmas cheer, hehehe. It was quite an interesting experience. I actually overwhelmed myself because I started taking control of EVERYTHING...and I mean everything. I became dictator extraordinaire and that made me feel anxious. I started feeling the queasiness in the pit of my stomach. And I was actually hunched over as if the weight of the world were on my shoulders. It took me the better part of the day to realize that I was the only one pressuring myself to do everything I thought had to be done. No one in my fam was forcing me to do anything in any particular way. Revelation for the day: I'm only trying to impress one person... ME. And me is the hardest customer to please. :/

But that's cool. At least I know who I need to work on...me, again. And, although that can be trying at times, it's nowhere near as overwhelming as thinking that you have to please everyone else.

Anywho, I got a tree made which I can't show y'all cuz my camera batteries died...the main ones, the backups and the backups' backups >.< Yep, I was mad. But, I got them charged up, and tomorrow I will start taking pictures and uploading them.

The main menu for Christmas isn't final yet. But, I think I've almost convinced my mom to make a ham. Like I said on the last blog, I'll probably be making some kind of dessert(s). I'm not quite sure if my sister will pitch in, but she's not really into holiday food making. She likes cooking and baking and she does them well...she just does them on her terms ;).

So, I'll talk to you guys later...buh-bye :)

Day 11 - 'Tis the Season?

2011-12-11T16:13:00.000-08:00

Well, yeah, it IS the season. But, not really for me. Not for the past 20 years. I haven't really celebrated Christmas since moving to the southern hemisphere. That's a bit extreme, you say? Maybe, but if you haven't ever made a north-south hemispherical move, you will have no idea how much of an impact it can have on you. This is how it happened in my case:

At first, I was being rebellious and holier-than-thou (as in "whatever, dude...these people don't know what Christmas is really about. How can they have a clue when it's 100° outside?!"). Then, I was whiney and stubborn ("It's not Christmas without snow! *pouty face"). Finally, I mellowed out and came to a realization. It's just really hard to prepare for the Christmas when it's summer. For me, Christmas is about congregation, snuggling, getting together with family and friends. Well, here Christmas is about summer vacation, parties, getting away from family and friends. In short, it's about dispersion. But, I came to the conclusion that none of that should matter. Christmas is also about tradition...your own personal traditions.

So, this year I've made a concerted effort to resurrect my passion for Christmas (it was my favoritest holiday of the year) and perhaps initiate some traditions of my own. I've started by making snowflakes...you know, the ones we used to make as kids. They are now plastered all over my door and some walls :). I'm planning on making cookies and decorating them. And I think I'll make a pie for Christmas dinner. It will have to be blueberry or peach (maybe apple) just because that's what's in season right now. So, I will definitely upload the fruits of my labor to show you :)

Until tomorrow, y'all!

Day 10 - I've got nuffin'

2011-12-10T18:36:00.000-08:00

I've got a mongo eyeball headache, and I don't feel like blogging today...so :P

Tomorrow will be better, hehehe!

Day 9 - My new obsession

2011-12-09T06:03:00.000-08:00

Okay, fine, I'll admit it. I'm addicted to Pinterest. Hahaha...it's amazing! It's like having 100,000 personal shoppers showing you things that you might like. I've seen some really cute, interesting, yummy and funny things in the past couple of weeks. I've even made a couple of the recipes I've found on there.

I know that many people are adverse to using it, and I know why. You are lulled into a symphony of beautiful pictures and funny comments and before you realize it, you've "wasted" 3 hours in front of the monitor. But, if you're a homeschooler or crafty person, it's well worth the time. All kidding aside, I've found a lot of useful things for our EFL students (both adults and children). It's also opened me up to other art forms and some decorating ideas that I had not considered before. And, if you're like me and speak fluently in (movie, TV, book) quotes, it's a goldmine for funny comments.

If you haven't taken a look, do so...it's an interesting alternative to FB :)
Until tomorrow, guys! Bye

Day 8 - One thing that irritates me is...

2011-12-08T16:32:00.000-08:00

...when people insist on romanizing Korean. In general, I find it strange (I would have used "maniacal", but I'm trying to be more precise and appropriate with my word choices) that anyone would choose to exclusively learn the romanized version of any language and here's why.

Romanization is to Korean (and any other language) what sound-spelling is to English. It's basically a tool...no more. So, when I see everyone writing in romanized Korean, I imagine myself writing English in sound-spelling. It would make little sense and could be wildly confusing. You can't look the romanized version of the word up in a dictionary (just like an English dictionary is not alphabetized according to sound spelling). And to make matters worse, there are different versions of romanization.

The biggest excuse I hear for not using Hanguel (한글, the Korean alphabet) is that their phone doesn't support it. I guess I'm kinda old-fashioned, but those kids surely can't be studying on their phones, can they? And if you really cared about learning/knowing the language, wouldn't you invest in having it on your phone? Well, I would. Period. In fact, that condition will determine the purchase of my next cellphone.

So, all I can say is: Knock it off...You're rocking my nerves! (hahaha)

Til next time, guys!

Day 7 - Every Second Counts

2011-12-07T13:31:00.000-08:00

I've been resting after my fall yesterday. I'm in a bit more pain than yesterday and terribly bored!!! I can't sit down for very long... or stand, so I'm condemned to lie on my side for a couple of days :/

That's pretty much it for today. I just wanted share this link, 'cuz I think it's an awesome idea. There are still a few days left before the deadline:

The Beauty Of A Second from The Beauty Of A Second on Vimeo.

Later! :)

Day 6 - Bumps and Bruises

2011-12-06T16:26:00.000-08:00

Today started off just fine. But, around 11:00 a.m. I slipped on the last two steps of my staircase and hit my rear end on a couple of steps x(.

Why is it that being in an accident either leads to aloofness (me, no, I wasn't injured *blood trickling from the ears) or anger (stupid chair, it wasn't supposed to be in the same place it always is)? Well, I experienced the latter. I actually got angry at my sister. "My, God! How dare she not be here for me to tell her immediately how angry I am that I slipped and fell". Sounds funny, now. :)

I was determined not to let it affect my day...and it didn't. :) Other than not being able to sit properly - right now I'm lying on my side typing this - it really wasn't a big deal. I didn't even share it on my Facebook page! That's a first for me...big smiley face!

Well, that's it for today. Talk at y'all tomorrow.

Day 5 - Blur

2011-12-05T13:03:00.000-08:00

Wow, today has been hectic! I went to the bank, made lunch and am still working at 6.00 p.m. But, it's all good. I haven't over-thought much of anything today...and that counts as a good day in my book. The bank was a good place to learn more about myself through other people. And the work I'm doing right now is also a good growing experience for me (knowing what I will and won't do...no matter how much people try to guilt me into doing it).

Here's to more blurry days that help you grow on the inside :)
See ya tomorrow!

Day 4 - Keeping it in

2011-12-04T17:53:00.000-08:00

Well, well. I almost forgot about today's post. :/ That's one of my habits. I start everything in a gung-ho manner, and then I lose steam. Note to self: work on that for the future.

I'm not sure why that is. It has nothing to do with the importance of the thing I'm doing. In fact, I place great importance on this blogging challenge. The reason that I'm doing it is to learn about how and what I communicate. I've censored my words my whole life. People have said that I am very diplomatic, and I always took it as a compliment (as I think it was intended). But in the past few years, I've wondered if that diplomacy is more of a fault than a virtue.

The first signs that this was a problem were pointed out to me by my sister. I would tell her about a comment someone had made and I would say "...and I was like (insert funny comeback here)". She would generally reply: "That's so funny. Is that what you said?" And I would say: "No, it's what I thought." Eventually, she started asking me why I didn't say or write those comebacks down. Well, my quick answer would be I didn't want to say something out of line that would offend anyone. But, I have to admit that it also has to do with self esteem. If I said (say) something "wrong" people would turn on my, they would judge me, they wouldn't like me. It's a whopper. I'm not sure I've wrapped my head around the whole thing. But, I am working on it.

I also realized that I didn't just do it as a response to other people's comments. I started noticing that I would do it with my own, original thoughts as well. Now, that can't be healthy, can it? I've always been a reserved and introverted person. But, when I was around close friends, I was much more extroverted. In the last few years, however, I must admit that my self-censorship was applied across the board. I started living in my own head. Now, that can't be healthy either, can it?

And it's not only not healthy, it's useless. No matter how hard you tighten the gag around your mouth (I'm talking about bruxism, people), your subconscious will find a way of "spilling your guts" for you. I only just realized that the artwork that I've been doing lately is just that.

Hmmm, and here I was thinking that it was a half-assed past-time that helped keep my mind off of things. Moral of the story: Start paying attention because everything we do is important and special :). I wasn't really planning on uploading any artwork today, but in light of this revelation I would like to share one of my latest (and favorite) paintings:

Dandelions, 2011 - Oil pastel on canvas

See y'all tomorrow :)

Day 3 - Just Listen

2011-12-03T08:55:00.000-08:00

Thrive

..'nuf said :)

Day 2 - Therapy

2011-12-02T11:38:00.000-08:00

Well, today has been much better than yesterday. I have the annoying tendency of over-thinking and of over-working myself. I'm working on that...yeah, and sometime overworking that.

Anyways, today was my bimonthly (semi-montly? I know there's a difference, but I can't be bothered to look it up right...every other week) therapy session. I have been going to an energy therapist for a few months now. She's also a floral therapist (I do Bach Floral Therapy) and a psychologist. She is, in fact, everything I was looking for in a therapist :).

I have had two previous therapists - both men. I am quick to point that out because I think that it was important for me to find a female therapist. Many people will say that it doesn't matter, and I will agree that for them it doesn't matter. But, for me it was important. No matter how good of a professional a male therapist is, there's no way he will ever understand when you come in raving about the cute little top you just bought. And, both of my previous therapists were very good, and I would recommend them in a heartbeat. This time around, however, I really wanted to share my process with a woman.

Honestly, I'm not 100% satisfied with it, but I think that's another point I have to work on. I'm just like the rest of world...I want that magic pill that makes everything better. I have to admit that my process has been bumpy but good...and motivating...and exhausting...and frustrating...and fulfilling. I think that the point is to see the road (for however bumpy it might be) is a gift. The pill is the opposite...the anti-gift so to speak.

So, here's to the road. Bye for now. See y'all tomorrow.

Day 1 - Blech

2011-12-01T05:33:00.000-08:00

Today, I have a headache, and I'm exhausted. I did some obsessing about my life last night, and it wore me out. The plan is to rest today and to nap some. I'm very thankful that I have a life that allows me to do that. :)

Day 1's post is over...that wasn't as painful as I thought it would be ;)
See ya'll tomorrow.

The 30 days of Blogging...falalalala lalalala

2011-11-30T10:23:00.000-08:00

I'm sure someone has already done this, but I've decided to write a post every day for the next 30 days. Why? Well, the short answer is to help heal my throat chakra. The long answer would entail my telling you why I would need or want to heal my throat chakra. Since the subject will probably come up at least once in the next thirty days, I'll just leave it at that. ;)

'Til tomorrow :D

If you don't love yourself...

2011-08-20T07:24:00.000-07:00

I know that most of us have heard or said: "How do you expect someone to love you if you don't love yourself?" I admit that I really hated that saying. I always assumed that it meant that I wasn't love-worthy...that if I didn't love myself I wasn't worthy of being loved. Well, I was wrong.

After 30+ years of life I finally understood what it really meant: If you don't love yourself, you won't be able to see all of the people around you who do love you. I don't care who you are, there are people around you who love you, who care for you and who support you. By not loving yourself, by not believing in yourself and how special you are, it becomes harder to see those feelings coming from other people.

So, remember that everyone deserves love...everyone deserves love. It's up to us to lift that veil of self-doubt to see it.

Pushers and Leechers

2011-06-23T12:12:00.000-07:00

A friend of mine found it quite simple to categorize men. She would say that they are either fun or boring. The fun ones are less than responsible; the boring ones are very responsible, but don't ask them to be fun. I thought it was funny, but I don't usually subscribe to such a generalization. However, I am going to contradict myself with the following post.

Today, I want to talk about two types of people I have frequently come across in my life: the pushers and the leechers. I don't really have any leechers left in my life (let me check...nope, I think I got rid of all of them). But, there are many pushers still left in my close circle of family and friends.

If you're wondering what I mean by these names, let me explain. A leecher is a person (friend or not) who just sucks the life right out of you. The darkness and self pity they live in is so strong that it just takes all the happy energy from everyone around them. In my early 20s I had a friend like that. Even when I think of her now, all I see is this type of gray veil surrounding her. Now, I don't mean to say that she is a bad person. She is not. But, she was a toxic person...at least for my type of personality.

The pusher is a person (friend or not) that pushes their way into your life. They are bossy, strong-willed and try to get you to do what they want, see life through their eyes and basically live your life the way they think is right. Balls to those people! They really irritate me. I have a friend who is that way. She's a great person (I can attest to that), but her behavior is very invasive. That also means that she is a toxic person...again, at least for my type of personality.

Now, what I have learned is that you have to hold onto your "self" when your dealing with a leechers. Their "vacuum cleaner" personality is already turned on. You just have to hold on to something and wait for them to leave. In my case, I've never really had a problem with this type of personality. I just stuck around for a while, listened to them, and went on my way.

My problem has always been the pusher. With pushers, you HAVE to have strong, almost immovable boundaries. It's like you're the goalie, and they are going to try to score anyway they can...even if it's with a cheap shot (hope you're all following my metaphor). Boundaries are one of my weak spots. I never know if setting limits is a good thing or if I'm just being mean and unreasonable. (Seriously, I am working on it!) Unfortunately, I have this nagging certainty that once I truly learn to set boundaries, these types of people will just vanish from my life (or in the worst of cases, I will learn how to deal with them in a healthy way).

How about you guys? Have you met a leecher or pusher you just can't shake? Any other type of people who frequently show up in life (good or bad)? I'd really like to know, so feel free to comment. :)

Re-vamping

2011-06-21T14:53:00.000-07:00

After much thought, I have decided to change the direction of my blog. As you can see in the blog description (in the header), I no longer subscribe to "a blog about crafts & life". Don't get me wrong, I still love crafts. I do consider myself to be, for the most part, a craftsman. I like making things with my hands, I love cooking, baking, etc. But, I realized that that's not what this blog was "supposed" to be about.

Without knowing it (or rather, failing to admit it to myself), the main purpose of this blog was to talk about myself and how I've managed to build my life even if (especially because) it's not quite how I imagined it would be when I was kid.

Lately, I've been reminded about something my high school director said to me. I used to compete in extemporaneous speech, and I wasn't great at it. But, I did manage to do some damage especially when I got a topic that I was passionate about. Once he told me that he knew exactly what rounds I would do well in when he got a chance to look at the topics. "The environment? Oh, yeah, Pini's going to knock this one out of the park." And (as much as I hated to admit it) he was right.

The greatest lesson I think that I learned from that is that life is easy, pleasurable and satisfying when you follow your heart. Well, lately I haven't been following my heart, and that has been a bummer. So, that's one of the reasons (maybe the only one or at least the most important one) that motivated my changing the course of this blog.

I hope that those of you following me and those of you who stumble upon this blog are not taken aback by this change. Trust me when I say: it was a change that needed to be made :) and I'm quite certain that it will actually make me want to blog more frequently. So, until next time!

Crafty Idea of the Week - Halloween Edition

2010-10-22T05:30:00.000-07:00

Hey, y'all! I've finally found a moment to sit down and update the old blog. I hope that today's crafty idea will be worth the wait. Since Halloween is close at hand, and everyone is probably running around looking for their costumes (or rather waiting 'til the last minute to throw one together), I got to thinking about the poor, neglected trick or treat bag.

Remember the plastic jack o lanterns we used to go trick or treating? or the plastic bags we would get at school? They were cool and got the job done. But, they were always missing the cute factor...until now. I recently came across these candy corn trick or treat bags and thought I would share.

CANDY CORN TRICK OR TREAT BAG (from purlbee.com)

Here's the link if you want to check out the patterns and instructions. It looks pretty easy, and I bet you could even change the color the stripe to match your outfit!
Happy Halloween everyone...have fun and be safe.

Payasito, por favor no te subas a la micro!

2010-08-18T15:59:00.000-07:00

Nos ha pasado a todos. Estamos en el paradero mirando la gente y las micros pasar. De pronto y de reojo, lo vemos...nuestro enemigo numero uno: el payaso (ta-ta-ta-tan). Cuando un payaso anda rondando el paradero, siempre existe la posibilidad que se suba a nuestra micro. ¿Cuántos hemos esperado para ver a que micro se sube primero? ¿Cuántos hemos pensado "Ay, no! Que lata!" cuando estamos sentados y vemos que se sube?

Yo soy la primero en reconocer que yo hago ambas cosas...siempre. No tengo nada contra los payasos y mucho menos tengo coulrofobia. Entiendo que desempañan una labor para llevar comida a sus mesas, pero ¿porque me tiene que hacer participe de su acto?

No necesito (ni quiero) que hagan sonar un celular chanta para que lo contesten y me digan que es para mi. No necesito que me digan que soy la hermana de Harry Potter. No necesito que me digan: ¿Porque tan poco riseños chiquillos, si solo es un poco de humor?

Srs. Payasos si quieren que nos lo pasemos bien en las micros yo veo una de dos opciones: cambian la rutina (porque TODOS repiten los mismos chistes) o no me involucren en su acto (porque si no tendré que empezar a cobrar como actríz de reparto, JA!)

Back again!

2010-08-16T06:42:00.001-07:00

Wow, I've been on a really extended hiatus, haven't I? Well, sometimes there just isn't too much time to sit down and blog :(. I'll let you know about what's been going on later this week.

I'm making some changes in the weekly structure of Black Hole Knitter. I hope to post at least one bilingual/Spanish post per week, and I'm thinking of changing Pattern of the Week Friday to "Crafty Find of the Week" (i.e., there are probably going to be lots of Etsy links, hehehe).

Anyways, here's hoping that I can keep up the momentum! :)

Motivational Monday

2009-12-14T07:10:00.000-08:00

I was recently reminded of this motto:

"Hope floats"

...so keep the faith, y'all

Happy Monday!

Benzodiazepine Withdrawal is a...Son of a Mother Duck!!

2009-12-13T18:35:00.000-08:00

First of all, for those of you who are offended by the title of this post, you have obviously never had to go through withdrawal. If you had, you would know that there is no other way to put it.

Second, I had been on my anti anxiety meds for a few months before my shrink decided it was time to start the weaning process. All in all, I took those meds for 10 months and two weeks.

Third, I strongly suggest that you ONLY take anti anxiety meds under the supervision of a doctor.

Last month, I had told you guys that I was officially off of my anti anxiety meds (see old post). I was so happy because I hadn't had any withdrawal symptoms. But, I spoke way too soon.

On November 3, I had an "almost" panic attack before falling asleep. Man, did it scare the everliving crap out of me! I had to take a quarter of a pill just to settle down. The very next day I scheduled an appointment with my therapist. Obviously, I still had to work through some anxiety issues.

I have been able to work on those issues, but I really just want to share my experience with withdrawal symptoms in this post.

Those of you who know me know that I would never willingly have a problem with drugs or alcohol. For that reason, I never thought that I would ever have to face something as difficult as withdrawal. It is a very scary experience. My symptoms included uncontrollable (yet sporadic) twitching in my legs and feet, shaky hands, anxiety and restlessness.

The worst part is that I felt like someone else, but in my skin. I wanted to get up and run around or talk a thousand miles an hour. I wanted to keep my hands from shaking. I wanted not to get stressed out, and I wanted to take the pills to make it all go away. I could do none of the first three things, and I CHOSE not to do the last.

Let me just tell ya', that last choice was the hardest of all. The only thing that kept me from taking a pill was the thought of having to go through withdrawal again. It is not a fun process, and I'm glad a friend gave me a head's up before I started experiencing any symptoms.

Since Nov 3, I haven't taken any pills (though I have wanted to a couple of times). The shaking and restlessness stopped after about two weeks (thank goodness!) The twitching slowly subsided, and I have been able to manage my anxiety in a much more productive way.

For those of you who are taking benzodiazepine medication be aware of the withdrawal symptoms and consult with your doctor. For those of you going through withdrawal, a few weeks of symptoms is nothing compared to a lifetime of not having to take them. For those of you who are neither, I hope you never have to fall into the previous categories.

Take care and talk to ya soon!

Pattern of the Week

2009-12-12T06:16:00.000-08:00

When I saw the following pattern, I just had to share it with you guys. I get daily newsletters from Knitting Daily (Beading and Quilting Daily, too). For the most part, the newsletters contain info about techniques, where to shop and some rather traditional patterns.

But, I thought this one was really impressive. For me, the coolest part is that the designer (Norah Gaughan) has a double degree in biology AND art. Too cool!

POTW: Knitted Tree Topper, by Norah Gaughan
Photo from www.knittingdaily.com

This pattern uses double pointed needles (DPNs) and is stuffed to keep the star pointy.

This project can be made with different colored yarns to get different effects. The more advanced crocheters will also be able to deduce the pattern from this photo.

You can download the pattern here...and see some other versions and a video here.

Hope you liked it...Merry Christmas!

Pattern of the Week (x2)

2009-11-28T06:29:00.001-08:00

I know, I know, I know. I just can't seem to get myself organized to post every week. I haven't given up, though.

Here are a couple more patterns that I've found. The first is from knitty.com (my goto place for knitting patterns). The second pattern is from a crafty blog, Pretty Ditty. Check them both out for good patterns and ideas.

POTW1: (Not-all-the-way) Fingerless Gloves, Cigar by Kerri Cadd. Photo by LuAnn Cadd
I LOVE these gloves. They would have come in really handy when I was a student. I don't really think they are just for men, though. Actually, I think that any artist, painter, draftsmen would be thrilled to own a pair.

I plan on making myself a pair for the winter. I just need to find the perfect yarn. :)

POTW 2: Halloween Delight - Pretty Ditty Apron, by Pretty Ditty. Photo from pretty-ditty.blogspot.com

A friend of mine posted an apron that she made a few months ago. It was really nice. I loved it. So, when I came across this apron, it reminded me of her. :)

If you go to Pretty Ditty's blog, you will see a whole bunch of homemade products. She sells her patterns and products at her Etsy shop. If you want some good ideas, surf on down to her blog.

Well, that's it for this week. Hope you like these patterns.

Pattern of the Week (x2)

2009-11-13T04:45:00.000-08:00

Okay, so I have been a little tied up in the past few weeks. But, I think I'm finally hitting my stride. Since I haven't posted a POTW, I'm going to give you TWO this week :).

Winter is upon us (in the northern hemisphere actually, cuz here it's almost summer, ha!) and I've been checking The Purl Bee and Knitty for some season appropriate ideas. Here are my choices:

POTW 1: Daisy Stitch Handwarmers (picture from purlbee.com)

I found these a couple of years ago. LOVE! They are so adorable and easier to make than you think. There's a great deal of repetition in the pattern. Once you get a rhythm going, it goes very quickly.

POTW 2: Mushroom Hat (picture from purlbee.com)

My sister loved this hat and wants one for winter. So, off to find lovely yarn to make it. :)

So, that's it for this week. I hope you try these patterns. They just take a little patience, but the results are awesome. Good luck and see ya next week.

Motivational Monday

2009-11-02T03:18:00.000-08:00

No quote today, just a story that I hope motivates you guys to do anything you put your mind to.

As of last Monday, I am officially off of my anti anxiety meds! I was a bit worried because every time my doc would lower by dosage, I would feel the effects within a couple of days. So far, the only withdrawal symptom I'm experiencing is that it's taking a little longer for me to fall asleep.

Before the meds and therapy, it would take me anywhere between 45 min to an hour to fall asleep. During the night, I would wake up 4 or 5 times. Needless to say, I would usually wake up tired in the morning.

Now, it takes me about 30 minutes to fall asleep and I don't wake up at all during the night at all. A fair trade off if you ask me. :)

I really appreciate the experiences that some of you shared with me. They really have helped me through this experience.

Well, hope you have a great Monday and week!!

Motivational Monday

2009-10-26T05:15:00.000-07:00

Not much to say today. I'll just leave you with a quote that always makes me smile. Read it, remember it and use it :) and let me know how it goes.

"Ba-zinga"

-Dr. Sheldon Cooper, The Big Bang Theory

Pattern of the Week...with a twist

2009-10-23T05:42:00.000-07:00

Okay, so this week wasn't as horrible as I thought it would be. It has been very looooong, though. So, I'm glad the weekend is here.

Anyways, back to the "pattern" of the week. This week I decided to do something different and post a recipe...just because that's how I roll, ;). Today's recipe is pita bread, pita bread, pita bread!!! I LOVE pita bread. I'm a big fan of crusts so this is the best kind of bread for me :)

ROTW: Pita Bread (picture from about.com)

I found this recipe online and it is fabulous. The author, Dedemed, is very thorough with her explanation. You will get about 15, 6-7" pitas with this recipe.

I've made these pitas twice, once with 100% whole wheat flour and once with 100% all-purpose flour. The whole wheat version didn't puff up very much, but the all-purpose version was just beautiful and yummy with a warm, yeasty smell.

If you want to use whole wheat, I strongly suggest you mix it with all-purpose flour if you want the bread to puff up (I would say 1/2-1/2, but I haven't tried it yet so you might want to stick with a 1/3 to 2/3 ratio).

Here are some other pointers so that you can get the best pita bread possible:

Yes, the oven has to be THAT hot (500°)
You have to use plenty of flour to roll out the bread, because the dough gets very sticky.
Don't leave them in the oven too long. I don't let them brown, because they tend to get brittle if they bake too long.
Store them in a plastic bag to keep them moist. Make sure they are cold before you stick them in the bag...you don't want wet pitas.
Fry them up. This recipe makes yummy pita chips.

That's it, guys. I must say it again: this recipe makes great pita bread. Don't be afraid of the yeast, just let it bubble up and it's good to go. Happy cooking!

p.s. If you have a problem with the link, let me know, and I'll see what I can do.

Progress Report: Pattern of the Week

2009-10-22T10:02:00.001-07:00

Hey guys! Like I promised here are some pictures of my Dolman-sleeve bolero. I haven't had much time to work on it, so it's coming along quite slowly :(. But, I'm going to make the effort to speed things along because it's getting quite hot, and I'd really like to use it for summer :)

Enjoy!

My progress so far. Slow but steady!

The long stitches I put in every nine rows. Makes knitting SO much faster :)

The two yarns that I'm using to knit. I had them both for the longest time and could never quite find the right project...'til now.

Motivational Monday

2009-10-19T05:41:00.000-07:00

Man, this week is going to suck. I just know it. I have a deadline on Friday, and I just despise writing meaningless articles that have about as much truth as a presidential campaign.

Nevertheless, I try to stay focused and up beat about it. After all, I do have a lot of great things in my life that make that sacrifice worth while (for now at least). So here's Monday's quote:

"Perspective is the most important thing to have in life."

-Lauren Graham

Have a good day, Monday-haters...this week I am one of you ;)

2009-10-16T10:02:00.000-07:00

This week has flown right by. I so do appreciate short work weeks, but I almost forgot it was Friday! Anyways, here's my pattern for the week. It's a dolman sleeve bolero. I love boleros, and I've been wanting to make something with a dolman sleeve ever since I found out what a dolmen sleeve was...ha! Without further ado here's the:

POTW: Dolman Sleeve Bolero

I pick two different yarns, 100% cotton. One is a gorgeous teal color and the other is variegated with light calypso and tan. I love the combination.

The pattern and instructions can be found here. I'm adjusting the pattern to my size so there's a lot of frogging and re-knitting going on. Aaand, I also tweeked the pattern a little by adding a long stitch every nine rows. Alas, that is the life of a knitter. I'm about halfway done with the first sleeve. I'll be sure to post a photo of my progress next week.

If you're a beginner, this is a great project to try. The website is in Spanish, but just follow the pattern mold and use the stitch you are most comfortable with. Have fun!

Motivational Monday

2009-10-12T05:08:00.000-07:00

"No horse gets anywhere until he is harnessed. No stream or gas drives anything until it is confined. No Niagara is ever turned into light and power until it is tunneled. No life ever grows great until it is focused, dedicated, disciplined."

-Harry Emerson Fosdick

Pattern of the Week

2009-10-09T06:16:00.000-07:00

This pattern isn't a new find. It's actually an old one. I subscribe to knitty.com, and they have some fabulous patterns for knitters. If you're a beginner or a seasoned pro, check it out.

POTW: Nob Hill Shrug

As most knitters, I started knitting scarves. That got boring really fast, so I started looking for more challenging patterns. Soon, I was making boleros and shrugs...the next logical progression, in my experience.

This pattern is slightly more challenging than a regular bolero or shrug just because of the shaping required. Even so, it is a very fast project to knit.

I made my own version of this shrug last year. It is very comfortable and stylish. :)

Motivational Monday

2009-10-05T06:28:00.000-07:00

Hey guys! Here I am again. Wow, two posts in 5 days. That's some sort of record for me ;)

This post was inspired by all my friends who hate Mondays. I, personally, love Mondays. Yep, you can call me crazy, but I think of them as a fresh, clean slate for the rest of the week.

Anyways, every Monday I'll be posting a comment or quote to get your week going with a bit of humor and/or some motivation. Here's the first of many:

"The best measure of a man's honesty isn't his income tax return. It's the zero adjust on his bathroom scale."

-Arthur C. Clarke

Enjoy your week!

Pattern of the Week

2009-10-02T07:17:00.001-07:00

As you have probably already figured out, I've been really lazy about updating my blog. Well, I decided that that had to be fixed. So, here's my first post about the "Pattern of the Week" or POTW. Props to Kathryn W, because I stole this idea from her. :)

You can check back every Friday to see a new sewing/knitting/etc pattern or project that I find inspiring or note worthy.

POTW: Laptop Sleeve with Folk Embroidery by kuutydruk

I found this project on Etsy and thought it was just darling. I recently purchased a 17" laptop and have found it hard to keep it protected in a safe, but attractive way.

Both my sister and me liked it so much that we've decided to use a similar design with Chilean motifs for Cupernickel Crafts.

I'll let you know how the prototype goes.

Portion Control

2009-09-16T08:04:00.000-07:00

First of all, let me just say that keeping up with two blogs is a CHORE. But, that’s not what this post is about :). It's about eating and losing weight.

I’ve have a weight issue since I was 10. I wasn’t overweight then, but I did think I was. So, I thought the logical thing to do was eat as if I were overweight. Ergo, my issue with food began.
It’s been a long road, but I have managed to lose about 80 lbs in the last 10 years and keep it off. I’m still not at my target weight. I’ve been struggling for the past 6 or so years to take it off. So, now I’ve decided to start with portion control.

I’ve done it before, and it has shown results. But, I usually slack off after a few weeks. Boo, for me. But this time I have a “buddy”, my sister. We’ve made a plan to cook food on the weekends and freeze it in individual containers. It’s scary because you get to see just how little food you really need to eat. Then you realize how much you were actually eating! We started Monday and so far so good. Today is fried rice day. I’m using Kylie Kwong’s recipe as a base. So you see, pre cooked meals can be convenient AND tasty!

I really support the buddy system when it comes to losing weight. I think that it’s really hard to do it by yourself. Kudos to those who do. To all of you out there who are on the same mission as I am: GOOD LUCK and STAY STRONG. It’s all for a healthier and stronger you :)

I Heart MDF

2009-07-30T11:58:00.000-07:00

I've been working like crazy for Cupernickel. The other day we stopped to think about all we had done, and we realized that it has been a lot more than we thought.

We have a new blog, a website and we are starting the photographic database to fill our Etsy store: Cupernickel Crafts.

So, my sister is busy making new pages for our website, and I'm researching suppliers and making looms and more products.

Thanks to MDF, the loom making process in now a cinch! I love it! No more predrilling holes, no more wobbly frames...it's a effin awesome.

This is my first woven potholder. I love it!

Right now I have a couple of square looms, one potholder loom and one loomette-type loom for bias weaving, and a daisy loom. I'm still researching on how to finish my giant loom, but I'm almost there. I just need to figure out exactly how many pegs to use :D and I'll be good to go.

More pictures of finished projects to come.

Anniversary: 6 months and counting

2009-06-04T11:01:00.000-07:00

Well, tomorrow is my 6 month-therapy anniversary. Wow, I can't believe it's been that long!

I must say that I'm very happy with my shrink (my shrinks, lol). It's amazing all the crap you store up inside and don't even realize it. If at first I had no idea what I was doing in therapy (aside from trying not to get panic attacks), the road ahead has become clearer. My life is no longer attached to another person's needs or comments. That's a really big step for me.

I've also come to understand that the parent's are always to blame (lol), but it's our responsibility to fix whatever we think is broken in our lives.

Enough of the deep stuff. I wanted to show you what I'm working on besides Cupernickel.

Daniela, a friend, asked me to make her a poncho that I had made for myself a couple of years ago. She couldn't find the same yarn, but this one is just as beautiful.

Close up of knitted cable

Also, a friend asked me for some pointers on decoupaging. So I started off on my first class (ever) on decoupage. Here are the first photos of the preliminary steps.

The materials

My project

Isa's project

I'll post pictures of both projects when they're finished.

Whole lotta working going on

2009-05-27T07:56:00.000-07:00

Wow, since my last post there's been a whole lot of stuff on my plate.

So, first we lost an associate. Boo :(. But she's doing good, so yay :).

We started the whole process of the online business. Whoa, is it more work than we expected! We started a blog, opened an Etsy and Paypal account. We thought about creating a Facebook profile but chose to start a Flickr account instead. All the while we were in limbo with the name!!!

But we finally decided on the name: Cupernickel. As we posted on our blog: "Cupernickel is a combination of two worlds, just like us. In fact the name (deliberately misspelled) comes from a copper-nickel alloy that is used in jewelry and coins. In Chile, it is referred to as alpaca, just like the camelid."

The Cupernickel blog has 3 posts. Please, check it out. So far, our Flickr account has a few pictures of our last vacation to the south of Chile...more will be uploaded soon. We expect to create a second photostream with our creations within the next couple of weeks.

Well, there you go. I'll try to get back to blogging on a more frequent basis. I'll keep you posted.

And then there were two...

2009-04-15T09:32:00.000-07:00

Since my last post one of the partners decided not to participate in the company, so that just leaves me and my sister. I was sad to let her go, because we really get along great. But I understand that she has some issues that she needs to work out before getting involved in building a company.

About the company, we've gone through some changes and adjustments. Now we're focused on creating products with local goods but with our own twist. We've drawn upon our last vacation and the amazing landscapes in this long and varied country. Check this site out. The photos are fabulous and really inspirational.

We've both gotten into "old" crafting techniques which are now in style again, like felting and origami. I really enjoy drawing from the past to make things new and more current.

Right now we only have about three and a half project done so I kinda feel like we're a jeep stuck in the mud: trying real hard but getting no where fast. Even so, I'm really happy and enjoying myself immensely. :) I'll make sure to post our products as soon as I can so that y'all can take a look at them.

Laters

New Phase

2009-03-17T14:41:00.000-07:00

So after a few months of therapy, I can truly say (with documentation in hand) that I'm more screwed up than I thought. For the most part, I've enjoyed my sessions, but others have been stressful and draining. I've learned a lot about myself and my family. Now, I guess I'm on the road to dealing with those issues.

But that's not why I'm posting today. I wanted to announce that we have officially started our company: Top Era Designs. That's what we're calling ourselves. ERA are the last three letters of our last names. Pretty neat, huh?

Today was our first day of office work, and it was quite interesting. There are three of us: Me, my sister and Daniela. All of us are TCK and that's been helpful. But just like any group of people we have our differences. However, for the most part, I think that we are going to get along fine.

Good luck to us! And I'll let you know when we have our websites up.

Summer + Viña = Seaside stroll

2009-01-13T05:39:00.000-08:00

Last Saturday, I went to Viña with my sister and cousin, Yusi. We had lunch at Pizza Hut (yay!) and decided to take a stroll across the beach on our way to the mall. It was a gorgeous day, and luckily I had my camera with me. Enjoy the pics!

Sorry, wasn't in the mood to stitch the photos, but I think you can get a gist of the whole picture.

The pier you see in the background is scheduled to be torn down. What a shame, it's a local landmark where ships carrying sugar would embark. Unfortunately, it's in such a state of decay that it's no longer safe to walk on.

Sand art. I love the Homer Sand dude. hahaha.

My sister and Yusi on the boardwalk.

The poor pier.

One Month

2009-01-01T15:58:00.000-08:00

So, it's almost been one month since my first panic attack. During the first few weeks I still had some minor episodes during sleep, but they were short and few. Since December 22 there have been no attacks or episodes. Yay me! Thanks to my happy pills (which are rather miraculous), I no longer have anxiety but I do experience passing moments of slight fear. Almost like something spooks me, but it's like a whisper and soon passes.

Despite my advances, December has been the longest month of my life, basically because I have done nothing. Let me re-phrase that: I haven't done anything on the professional front. That has got to be the hardest thing in the world for me to endure. I told my shrink that I feel totally irresponsible and un-professional, but he keeps reminding me that I'm not at 100% and that it's "me time". It's a moment in my life where I get to do what I want. That's kind of hard to adjust to.

I have been dedicated to doing some crafts, especially decorating pre-made mdf boxes. It worked out perfect because I gave some of them away for Christmas presents. I recently moved on to my unfinished knitting projects and am about to start making furniture because I'm getting so bored. Hahahaha! That's just like me, I always go overboard and not like normal people, but at the speed of light. But, my body keeps reminding me to slow down. At night when I wake up, if I turn around in bed too fast, I feel like I might lose my breath. So, I have to remind myself that no one is rushing me. I take it easy, breathe and everything settles. It's amazing to me that my body is so much smarter than my mind, so to speak.

Thanks to my therapy sessions, I've learned a lot about myself through my past experiences. I know that sounds weird and obvious, but when you have lay out your life in front of someone else, you pick up on things that you never noticed the first time around. The way my family unit is constructed is one of those eye-opening revelations. I thought that I was a psychotically independent because I was just born that way, and now I'm beginning to see that my nuclear family created such tight bonds that it made me an island.

The great thing about all of this is that it doesn't depress me. On the contrary, I'm really happy that I made the choice to treat my panic attacks. Since I started my treatment, I've had the opportunity to talk to a lot of friends and acquaintances about this. You would not believe the amount of people walking around with untreated panic attacks and depressions. I don't know how they do it, how they survive, how they remain so functional. Let me just tell you, my panic attack scared the *@!"$%&* out of me. I could not imagine going through this without treatment.

Anyways, that's what I've been up to. I'll be sure to post pics of my recent projects the next time I log on.

Panic Attacks

2008-12-05T02:52:00.000-08:00

No, the title of this post isn't some clever heading or metaphor. I have been diagnosed with panic attacks. Me. How is that possible? At least that's what I though at first, but now I'm starting to get the idea as to why.

My first panic attack was last Wednesday night, and I thought it was just due to a respiratory infection. Then, wham! Friday I got another another one. Still I thought it was the cold. I went to the doc's office and I just started bawling. He (general practitioner) said he couldn't diagnose me with panic attacks based on 2 episodes, but he could tell that I was under some severe stress. "Go see a psychologist, ASAP", he said. And I did.

That same day (Dec 5) I met with a shrink and had another bawl-fest. We talked about how I had gotten to where I was, and he sent me to a psychiatrist. "OMG", I thought. "Now I need medication!?" I just went with it. I was so beaten down that I just said yes to everything.

My appointment with the psychiatrist was last Saturday, and I had another two episodes within a 40 min span that morning before my consult. I was seriously considering it wasn't psychological. Anyways, I kept my appointment with the new doc (bawled a whole lot, again) and, sure enough, I got medication: a tranquilizer and an antidepressant.

Every doctor I've seen since my first episode has said the same thing: I have trouble delegating tasks, I'm too much of a perfectionist, I have control issues, and at the same time I have issues with taking the right amount of responsibility so sometimes I just give up my responsibility to others...I just give up.

So far I feel that I am in good hands. And if I'm blogging right now it's because I thinks it's important to do so. I have no qualms about being pegged as a fruit-loop or "damaged goods". I don't believe that panic attacks are or should be stigmatic. Why should they be?

I refer to this as my wake up call. You would not believe how easily this rearranged my priorities and how meaningless some things have become. I think that I would have eventually killed myself with all of the stress I was putting up with.

My panic attacks manifest themselves as a closing up of my throat and the sensation that I can't breathe. Obviously, I feel like I'm going to choke to death. My medication has helped with that, thank goodness. But for those of you who are going through something similar, SEEK HELP FROM PROFESSIONALS. Don't let this slide. I have NO idea how some people can go through this alone, I surely couldn't. Maybe my episodes are a bit noisier than the norm, but I would never wish the sensation of sure death on anyone. And that's basically the reason I sought help so quickly.

I've had awesome support from my doctors and my family and friends. I really couldn't ask for more. Since I started with my medication, I've had about 7 pseudo-episodes. Last night was the strongest one, but it was no where near as strong as the first few episodes. I actually controlled it before it got too far. Yay, me!

Anyways, that's what I'm going through right now. I'll keep you posted on my progress.

"27 Hours of Love"

2008-11-28T08:58:00.000-08:00

I always complain about the bad things this country has to offer: spite, mockery, laziness, tardiness, etc. However, I must as readily accept that there are certain things that are truly impressive and praise-worthy.

One of the most impressive is the Teletón. The Teletón was begun in 1978 by a famous, Chilean television host: Mario Kreutzberger aka Don Francisco. He invited the Society for Disabled Children (founded in 1947) to work together through a televised event. The idea was to raise more money and help even more children. Now, thirty years later, there are several establishments throughout the country dedicated to helping and rehabilitating disabled children and young people and their families.

Tonight, at 9:00 p.m., the Teletón begins its yearly transmission which lasts for 27 straight hours. Every year a monetary goal is set. Large companies, philanthropists and the ordinary Joe donate money to attain that goal. It isn't always reached within the 27 hour limit, but it's a true testament to the Chilean people's solidarity and committment to this cause. The whole country comes to a standstill. No matter where anyone goes, they always ask a store clerk, the bus driver or a random stranger in the street: "How are we coming along?" or "Are we getting close to our goal yet?"

It's a beautiful thing. During the televised transmission, we hear stories about families that have had to learn to live and excel with a disabled child: heart wrenching. I don't know of anyone who can sit and watch the whole 27 hours. I, myself, can only sit and listen to a couple or three per each Teletón.

Anyways, I just wanted to spread the word about this wonderful cause. I wish every Chilean luck in reaching this year's goal.

Business....as usual

2008-11-20T13:25:00.001-08:00

Hey everyone,
I'm back from vacay. It was great! I promise to upload some pictures as soon as I can. Between Facebook, replying emails and paying the very-important-after-vacations-visit-to-briefly-describe-the-wonderful-food-and-sites-I-was-privy-to to most of my friends, I am totally out of time. Oh, and I forgot to mention that I also have to work every once in a while, hahaha.

Even though I had decided to take a break from architecture, my vacations gave me a fresh outlook on the problem. So, while I work on other projects (crafts and stuff) that I have lined up, I will be getting back into the architectural swing of things.

So let me see....right now I'm working on:

3+1 projects that are only paperwork. Those projects have already been built sans the proper permits. Therefore, I have the "pleasurable" task of putting together the properties' municipal dossiers with all of the missing documents, plans and reports. bO-ring and tEE-di-ous. At least they are almost in the bag.
3 bids (or estimates, not sure how to call them) for different projects that have yet to be built. All of these require design (my FAVORITE part). One is a restaurant, the second is a group of small cabins, and the third is the headquarters for a moving company. That sounds a lot more impressive and glamorous than it really is, believe me. I'm not sure if they'll except my bid yet, but I'm keepin' my fingers crossed.
1 project to turn two houses on one lot into collective housing...just paperwork and the owners are a pain.
1 project that was supposed to be finished by now. But the owners decided that the project they approved is now too expensive and they want us to change it to a less expensive budget without us charging for that!!!!!!! Clueless, they are completely clueless.

You know, I had to admit that I live a bohemian lifestyle and I like that. It's not something that I'm willing to give up just yet. I could never conform to a structured work day. I would, literally, die. So what was I thinking trying to fit into the real world?

I totally swiped this from Shannon :)

2008-10-15T07:46:00.000-07:00

Hey guys,
I'm just killin' time here. I found a wordle on Shannon's page who found one, in turn, on Jenna's page. Awesome.

Just one question: Why is the word bread SO big? hahahaha

Planning this Vacation is going to Kill Me

2008-10-15T04:56:00.001-07:00

Okay, it¡s been about two weeks since I last posted. I've been so busy trying to tie up loose ends and trying to plan my upcoming vacations. Vacations, FINALLY!!!! I haven't had any vacations in 12 years. I'm not kidding. When I was a kid, my parents, sister and me would go to Alberquerque, NM every summer. But when I came to Chile, the fun stopped along with the vacations. My one and only vacations were in 1995 o 1996 with a friend and her family. Let me just tell you by experience that no vacations is NOT the way to go.

Anyways, I'm stoked and at the same time stressed out!!!!! My parents always did the planning, and I just went along for the ride. Now I realize all that vacationing entails: reservations, checking schedules, itineraries, money and millions of other details. I still have to buy a memory card for my camera and shampoo! Should I take warmer clothes or just a heavy jacket? We're traveling by train and bus, so picking the right things to not have to carry too much weight is essential. It all so daunting.

On the upside, our vacation spots are most definitely some of the most beautiful places in Chile. We have a road trip planned, kinda sorta backpacking but with swankier lodging. :) We're planning on hitting Concepción, Valdivia, Puerto Varas, Frutillar and then onto Chiloe.

Chiloe is an island and as such has a particular cultural. The churches that were built all over the island are all wooden. No nails if I remember correctly. And they were declared world heritage a few years ago.

We leave Sunday to Santiago where we'll take the train to our first destination spot, Concepción. We get back Nov 2 or 3. When I get back, I'll be posting about the trip, hopefully city by city. Until then. Bye! :)

How to Make Chilean French Toast

2008-10-02T14:23:00.000-07:00

Okay, I'm back. Sorry about the disappearing act, but I'm trying to get a lot of work done before I go on vacay (yea!!!!!!!!). But, more about that later.

During my absence from blogging, I got a craving for one of my favorite foods in the world: French toast (thank you Denny's for making me an addict;)). Let me just tell you that there is NO French toast in Chile :(...at least not around Valpo. So several years ago I "created" Chilean French Toast.

Since this is a fusion dish, I couldn't just use the same old bread that comes pre-sliced (yes, that I can find in the grocery store) or the typical syrup (also in the grocery store, although it's a little pricey for plain, old maple syrup). So, I tried using bread from the local bakery.

In Chile, there is a bakery or small store selling fresh bread on every other block, even Santiago. Therefore, you are never far away from fresh, crispy bread. You will find several types of bread at any one of these stores, but the most popular types are hallulla (ah-yu-ya) and batido (literally whipped, but I'd go with kneaded. it's also called marraqueta in some places). In the first type, the dough is rolled out to 1/4" thickness and cut with round cookie cutter-like things. In the second, the dough rolled into the shape you see below.

So, here goes the recipe:
Have the whisked eggs ready with a little bit of milk in them. Take your day-old batido and slice it to about a 1/4". The bread can't be too fresh cuz it will turn into a glob of mush. I suggest discarding the slices from the top and bottom crusts.

Dip the slices into the egg and milk mixture and let them get soaked through. The milk will help soften up the bread, which can get a bit dry and hard. Then, throw the soaked slices onto a hot, greased griddle or non stick pan. Once they are golden brown, serve them warm with coconut palm syrup or your favorite jam. And that's it. Simple, fast and tasty, my favorite type of food.

I tried to get a picture of the finished product, but the vultures beat me to it! They were gone in 5 minutes. :D

What's the Difference between Chileans and Americans?

2008-09-10T19:02:00.000-07:00

I get asked this question a lot. I hate it. It's right up there with "Can you translate this song for me?" After a few months of living here, I came up with the following answer:

If I decided tomorrow that I wanted to climb Mt. Everest, an American friend would say, "Awesome! Go for it! Keep me posted!" A Chilean friend, on the other hand, would say, "Why in the world would you want to do that?! You better be careful, you might get hurt. Are you sure they'll even let you into the country?"

¿Cuál es la diferencia entre los chilenos y los gringos? Ni se imaginan cuantas veces he oído esta pregunta. Al principio no supe que contestar. Pero al cabo de un par de meses en Chile, surgió la siguiente repuesta. A mi juicio, ilustra a cabalidad la diferencia.

Si mañana se me ocurriera escalar el Everest, un gringo me diría "-Bacan, te deseo lo mejor! Cuando regreses, me tienes que contar todo!" Un chileno, en cambio, me diría "-Para que queri hacer algo así? Teni que tener cuidado, te podi lastimar. Estai segura que es algo que quieres hacer?"

(fyi, the italicized words are Chilean slang. You probably won't find them in a translation dictionary.)

Photos Pending

2008-09-10T18:56:00.000-07:00

Here are the pictures I promised.
The yarn...so shiny, sooo perty (45% acrylic, 55% nylon)

This is my progress so far. Check out my new fangled stitch markers (lol)

Close up

(So NOT) Mindless Knitting

2008-09-09T16:51:00.000-07:00

Okay, so I'm almost done with the hot pink cardigan. Yippeeeee! Soooo, I decided to get started with another project. Knitting lulls are death for any knitter.

Here's the new project. Last week I saw the perfect yarn. It's kinda shimmery and light-weight. Yesterday I bought it in a pearly- blue tone (photo pending). I was so psyched!

Alright, this was my logic. Since the hot pink cardigan has a lacy pattern, I thought I'd try a more challenging pattern. After all, I've risen to the occassion so no biggy, right? WRONG! Huge biggy.

I've started with the lacy part and have already had to rip back three times!! It's really slow cuz you can't make the slightest mistake. You can see by the photo that there are four different patterns in each row. To top things off, my gorgeous yarn is really slippery, so it doesn't hold the stitch for long when I have to rip back. x(

Right now I'm working 4 rows at a time and everyone is forbidden from talking to me while I knit. hahaha

All I can think of is that I must be insane. I'll keep you posted on my progress :)

HIguerillas

2008-08-28T09:05:00.000-07:00

Well, its been a really long time since I've had the occasion to visit the coast which is funny because I live 4 blocks from the Pacific Ocean. But you know what it's like: we always take for granted the things we have right at hand. Fortunately, I had a chance to go to Higuerillas yesterday to drop off some magazines at a restaurant and decided to snap some pictures for you guys.

Let me bring you up to speed about Concón (pronounced more like cone-cone'). This city was founded as a tourist spot for plantation/ranchers that lived in the Aconcagua Valley (i.e. surrounding the Aconcagua River that flows from the Andes Mountains). It was traditionally a place for wealthy Chileans to take vacations (still is), so the cliffs that look upon the Ocean were settled first. One of these areas (maybe you can say that it's a barrio) is Higuerillas (fig orchard, literally). Presently, Higuerillas is a place where you can find fisherman and restaurants specializing in seafood (duh, right? lol)

In the first picture you can see a sea gull (noisy bastards) and a pelican. That was sheer luck. I was waiting for a bus, and I just starting snapping all I could before it passed me by.

A view towards the East. Higuerillas, along the coastline, is only about as long as a football field. Maybe a little longer.

Towards the West. This square was made a few years ago. Before that there was only a side walk wide enough for one person to walk on. The big stones are there to create an artificial harbor for the fisherman. Behind the red building you would find Concón's Yacht Club. These are the restaurants at the foothills. If you were facing the ocean, these would be at your back.

And there you have it. Your first look at Higuerillas.

Mopin' Around

2008-08-26T07:40:00.000-07:00

Yep, last week was a b****h. This week hasn't been much better. I found out just how much scum roams the Earth. It's amazing how hard work and dedication are always met with laziness and incompetence; how kindness and concern are met with disregard and aloofness; and how responsibility is met with blaming others for your lack of it.

Oh well, but that's something that will be dealt with in due time.

Last week, I had to measure (survey, whatever you call it) a warehouse. The owner needed blueprints for Health Services. That day it was freeeeezing in Valparaiso. It's almost Spring here and Spring means the beginning of the windy season. Sometimes we get cool soft, breezes. But when the winds blow as early as August, we get cold gales.

To escape some of the cold we decided to chase the sunlight. Not too much luck because the sun was setting. But we did stumble across a couple of benches that had been covered in mosaic tiles. We stayed a sec, just enough to snap these two pictures, and then we were on own way to a warmer place. :)

Meet and Greet (en Español, tambien)

2008-08-20T18:14:00.000-07:00

Okay, so I couldn't come up with a clever name, sue me. :P...

So here's the deal. The other day I ran into my sister and one of her (ESL) students. Her student was a little shy about speaking English with me, so my sister and I thought it would be a good idea to get her in a social setting with other Anglophones. That way she would be forced to speak English (insert wicked laugh).

Well that idea took off, and now we're planning a get together for Friday evening. All English speakers are invited as well as those who want to spend the afternoon brushing up on their conversational English. The only rule is NO Spanish (insert another wicked laugh)

We're going to meet up at Margaritai (across the street from Anayak in Viña) at 7:00 (19 hrs) on Friday (22). So, you are all welcome to join us.

SPANISH:
Sucede lo siguiente. El otro día me encontré en la calle con mi hermana y una de sus alumnas. A su alumna le dio un poco de cosa hablar en inglés conmigo. Tener vergüenza al hablar un idioma que uno no domina es absolutamente normal. Nisiquiera yo me atrevo hablar otro idioma ¡que plancha!

En fin, una idea surgió de juntar anglo parlantes con Chilenos que están aprendiendo el idioma. Al parecer, mi hermana conoce a un montón de ambos. Por esto, fijamos una reunión para el viernes 22 en Margaritai (al frente de Anayak en Viña) a las 19 hrs. El horario es para acomodar a los mas viejitos y los que viven mas lejos...y, porque no, aquellos que tienen carrete más tarde.

La única regla es que SOLAMENTE SE HABLA INGLES. (jejejeje). Están invitados todas aquellas personas que hablan ingles o que quieren practicarlo por un rato en grata compañía. Nos vemos.

The New Project Part 3 (and extras)

2008-08-19T07:47:00.000-07:00

Here are some more pictures of the hot pink sweater.

This is the back piece (almost finished :)) and the front right piece. See the orange needles...I absolutely HATE them. But, they were the only ones I had that were the right size. :P

Here's a close-up of the front piece (and the horrible knitting needles). Once I finish the back piece, I'll switch over to the other one.

Now for the extra stuff. I finally finished my granny square throw. It's one giant granny square (44x44 inches). I got the idea from another knitting blog. Once I find it again, I'll be sure to post her url.

Can't seem to get a picture of the whole thing, sorry.

Oh, and I decided that I'm going to make a second throw and add it to this one to make a blanket...check out the sketches:

And this is my mom's new project. This is what I call the "epic project": projects that last a long time, that sit there for weeks and that you can pick up in between shorter projects. Shawls, throws and blankets fall into this category. She's just buying small skeins of yarn when she runs out...the color scheme is arbitrary, depending on the colors they have at the store.

The New Project Part 2

2008-08-16T17:59:00.000-07:00

Sorry about the delay on updating. I had planned to post these new pictures of the pink sweater yesterday, but it had been raining cats and dogs (all day) and I as I sat down to type, the power went out. The power was restored 12 hours later (yep, I know!)

Any who, here are the pictures I promised a few days ago.

Here's as far as I had gotten with the lacy part before I realized that I had gone too far. I had to rip back (aka frog) about 4 inches (10 cm)! That sucked, but I'm not going to be short on yarn like I thought I was.

Here's a close up of the back piece.

The yarn is bulkier than the one in the original pattern. That's why the holes in the lace aren't as noticeable. But I don't mind. I actually like how it's turning out.

I'll post s'more pictures of my progress soon. I'm almost done with the back piece and am half way done with the right front piece. Wow, I'm so excited to see it come together.

"Por eso Chile no Surge"

2008-08-11T17:34:00.000-07:00

¿Cuantas veces he oído esta frase desde que llegué a Chile? Por lo menos día por medio. Lastima que lo escucho solamente de los Chilenos.

Hace un par de días me tocó pagar los derechos de una casa. Después de esperar varios minutos, me dieron el "papelito" que necesitaba para pagar en caja. Fui, confiada que iba a salir en otros cuantos minutos. Resulta que llego a la caja y me dicen que no tienen impresora. NO TIENEN IMPRESORA!

Como es que me pueden emitir un papelito para pagar si la caja (que está a 4 cuadras) no está funcionando? Acaso el personaje en la caja no es capaz de avisar que la caja no está funcionando (por teléfono, no estoy pidiendo que se sobre exalte el señor corriendo de depto en depto)? Es mucho pedir un poco de competencia? Aparentemente, sí.

Por eso Chile no surge.

El mismo día tomé una micro porque tenía una reunión en Viña. En promedio, me demoro 40 minutos en llegar a mi destino, por lo tanto me doy una hora. Total, he vivido acá por 15 años así que sé que las micros (los choferes, mejor dicho) se pueden demorar. Y llego 10 minutos atrasada porque el caballero decide darse su tiempo. Es media hora de mi tiempo que no podré recuperar jamas.

El sistema de transporte es un chiste. No puede ser que uno tenga que perder mitad de su día para llegar a la hora acordada. Y, obviamente, me abstengo en esta oportunidad de comentar sobre la tardanza generalizada en el país.

Por eso Chile no surge.

No señores, no es por eso que Chile no surge. Chile no surge porque todos están muy contentos con vivir su vida como está. A nadie le importa implementar un cambio porque da mucha "lata".

Aunque no esté de acuerdo, lo entiendo. Es muy simple la lógica: Es mas fácil vivir una vida donde todo funciona a medias que sacrificarse un poco para luego tener una vida mucho mejor. Pero, les digo que es una gran equivocación y por eso Chile no surge.

The New Project

2008-08-11T17:07:00.000-07:00

I finally got new batteries for my camera! So, here's what I promised: the new knitting project.

As some of you may know, I absolutely love knitty. It's got some great patterns, helpful articles and it's just plain fun. However, I've always been a little intimidated by the awesome guys and gals who post their designs.

Now, I decided to throw caution to the wind and begin with this "piquant" design. Checkout the pattern here. I've never been too keen on doing lace-y patterns because they require a lot of concentration (and when I'm commuting, holding on to the bars on the bus is what commands my full attention). But this pattern is simple and attractive, so I'm giving it a go.

This is the yarn I chose. I fell in love with it. It's a cotton blend and fairly chunky. At the same time it isn't too heavy.

The color is similar to my favorite cardigan. I wear the darn thing everywhere and at all times...it's getting kinda embarrassing so my intention is to retire my poor, worn out cardigan for this new fangled garment

This is how far I got on the first day. Not bad, right?

Well you can't see too much of the sweater yet, but it's coming along rather nicely. I've even decided to do a second one in a ecru colored yarn that I've had for almost a year.

Well, I'll be posting more of my progress tomorrow. I've already started on the lace-y part...I've also already started on the front left (just cuz I got bored with the lace. Ha!)

Lull...

2008-08-03T15:21:00.000-07:00

Sorry I haven't updated recently. It's just that I've been preoccupied with a pressing matter. It's a touchy subject, but I promise I will give you all of the dirty details once I get it resolved.

Anyways, I just wanted to let you know that I've taken on yet another knitting project. Yes, I'm crazy. But I look at it this way. So many people have told me that they've been knitting/crocheting one garment or accessory for ages. Most of them have it stashed away and after a while they just shrug it off with a sense of having failed in the attempt. My advice to them is: "You've got to get more projects goin'". That way you can move from one project to the other when you're bored. Besides, the more you have, the more likely you are to finish at least one (especially easy stuff). Then you can look at the finished piece as a success and the others as challenges waiting to be conquered. How corny! Well, at least that's how it's worked for me. ;)

If you want to see my new challenge, the pattern can be found here: http://www.knitty.com/ISSUEsummer08/PATTheyteach.html). I bought a gorgeous, almost hot pink cotton yarn to make it.

I will definitely be taking pictures of my progress.

Randy Pausch is gone :(

2008-07-25T15:42:00.001-07:00

A couple of months ago a Facebook buddy posted a video on my Superwall. I never really look at those things, but I got curious. The video was an excerpt from Randy Pausch's Last Lecture Series. Wow! I was floored.

I'm not going to try to explain what he said or how inspirational his words were. That would be useless. But, if you have not had the opportunity to see Randy Pausch, just type his name in any search engine and you'll get a bunch of links. Right now, however, it might be a difficult task to connect to any one of them. You see, he passed away this morning. He knew he was dying. Well, all of us are, but he had a specific expiration date, so to speak. He was dying of pancreatic cancer.

Ever since I saw the video all I could do was hope for a miracle...hope that he would be the one to beat the odds. A man like that should be able to live for ever. But then it hit me: sometimes loss and sacrifice is exactly what we need to realize how important some thing or some one is.

His words are important to me because they made me reevaluate my career path. I suppose that many people have had the same reaction and that's awesome.

I sympathize with his wife, children and family. I hope that they can find comfort in his words and the time they shared with him. I hope that they know how important it is that a man like Randy Pausch had a chance to live in this world and touch so many lives.

Moving Right Along....

2008-07-24T12:41:00.000-07:00

I'm trying to shake off the mala onda (bad mojo) that I manifested yesterday. For that reason, I've decided to upload some pictures of my most recent project. This is for my friends back home. Hope ya'll enjoy them!

This is the view from the balcony. You really can't see it in this picture, but between the light post and the tree you can see the ocean.
Also a view from the balcony. Here you can see the ground floor and part of the parking lot.
Here are the stairs, which I luuuuved. The owners chose Chilean Oregon Pine for the staircase and door jambs. It's slightly more expensive than regular pine, but the color is much richer.

One of the first things that shocked me about Chile was how every house seemed to be caged in. This is a typical protection for a window. It's not like crime is rampant, it's just a cultural habit. In any case, thanks to the white paint and wood trim, the iron on this house gives it a Mediterranean feel.

And here's the finished product. (See what I mean about the caging).

It's a very small house compared to American standards, but it falls into an average sized house in Chile. It's only 60 m2 (±645 sq ft) total! Yep, I had to be really careful with the distribution.

Target Confusion

2008-07-23T14:26:00.000-07:00

I have so many things that I want to "get down" on "paper" that I really don't know where to start. It's almost as if I have to catch up on years of correspondence to an old friend.

But as I was thinking about my target confusion today, one topic sticks in my mind: I'm fed up with my job. Don't get me wrong, I love my career (I'm an architect, self employed). However, I cannot express how disappointed and sick I am of all of the people I have to work with on daily basis.

As you might have read in my "about me" section, I'm living in Chile right now. The road has been long, bumpy and often hellish. I don't really get any of the social codes. I don't understand their tardiness or lax attitude about the rules. I mean, the rules are there for a reason, right? Clients treat me like their slave, municipal workers look down on any project that is not over 1000 sq ft, my peers are always gossiping about other colleagues and secretly hoping they will fail. And to top it all off, being self-employed means chasing down clients that don't pay on time or ever in some cases. It's just such a toxic setting that all I want to do is leave them to their misery.

I know, I know, most of you have to deal with this even outside of Chile. Here's the punchline, though. I'm betting that it wouldn't be nearly as bad if I could do it all in English.

Anyways, all of this has lead to one conclusion. I need a break from my job. I say I need a break from architecture, which is equally true. So, I'm now looking for a job. Hopefully it will be something that has to do with English. I just want a nice, simple job where I can get my paycheck at the end of the month (yep month, that's the way we get payed here) and start saving up enough money to high-tail it out of here as soon as possible.

Captain's Log 1.1.1

2008-07-21T15:15:00.000-07:00

After many years of trying to convince myself that I'm not the "kind of person" who would have a blog, I've come to the conclusion that I am. Actually, I've come to understand that it really isn't about being or not being the kind of person who would blog. It's about being the kind of person who has something to say and finding the way to say it. Sounds rather obvious, but sometimes obvious is the last thing we think about.

There are a lot of things that I could tell you about myself, but I'll start with the title of my blog. This isn't really a blog about knitting (sorry, guys). But being a fellow knitter myself, I can promise that every once and a while, I'll post some (a whole bunch, in fact) of the projects I'm working on. I have a whole range of WIPs vying for my attention.

I did, however, take the name from a popular saying: "The Black Hole of Knitting". It refers to that stage in the knitting process where you knit and knit and, somehow, you never advance. To put it lightly, the part that sucks. But, since nothing lasts forever, at some point you're out of the black hole and you're crossing the finish line. When I first read about it, I thought that it was a nifty metaphor for life. At least that's how I feel some of the time (or most of the time, depending on what day of the week you find me in).

On that note, I can't promise you that it will all be sunshine and rainbows. Sometimes I'll whine and moan about how unfair life is. Sometimes I'll profess to be the only sane person on the planet. Sometimes I will jump for joy. And other times I'll confess that I have no idea what I'm talking about.

In a nutshell that's what this blog is about. Hope you'll come by and visit.