Day 15 - "Unexpected" Blessings

I've learned two lessons since yesterday. One, the day isn't over until it's over. By that I mean that a crappy day can become awesome in an instant. Two, I really do have magical powers! ;) This one is a little more figurative. I had actually wanted an old friend who had recently moved to Chile to come visit me...and she did.

Yesterday, I was having a crappy day. The belly ache gave way to unexpected anxiety. By 9:00 p.m., I had basically given up on the day. Then, I got an SOS from my friend, S. She was in town and needed a place to crash with her daughter. Awesome-sauce. It has been one fun-filled ride since then.

Now, here's a little back story. I haven't really been getting out of my house since March. Seriously. It hasn't been fun especially since I don't want to be stranded in my house (that's not who I am). But, my fear, worry, concern about maybe, possibly having a panic attack in public has kept me from going out too often. I have only recently started to take short walks around town with my sister, and that has been helpful.

Well, when I heard that S was moving back, I felt an overwhelming sense of relief. And I eventually, thought it would be great if she came to me. AND I secretly (even kept it from myself) promised myself that I would make every effort to have fun and go out while she was here IF she did come visit. Low and behold, it happened.

I knew from the get go that they were going to want to go out. I struggled with my decision to go with them all day long...even as we were driving to our destination. But, even though I wasn't at 100%, I knew that I could NOT let my anxiety/fear deprive me of having a good time with one of my closest and dearest friends. It might have been "crazy" for a person who has suffered anxiety disorder to go to a mall 10 days before Christmas, but I said "Bite me, Anxiety".

I know it's hard to get to that place where you stare down your fear and say "I've heard what you have to say, but I'm doing this anyways". But, it IS possible. If anyone out there is suffering from anxiety, depression, or panic disorders KNOW that it is possible. And even if you struggle with keeping it permanent, that's just the circle of life...and if you found it once, you can find it again.

Good night, y'all. Talk to you tomorrow!