Today, I had my usual therapy session plus my second acupuncture session. I was a little apprehensive about having two therapy session in one day, but I tried to go with it. So, now I'm back from them both, and I must say that it has been quite an informative day.
I was told by both of my therapists that they didn't think that I had an anxiety issue. What? What do you mean I don't have an anxiety disorder? For the past three years, my entire world has been built around the fact that I, in fact, suffered from some type of anxiety-related problem. And now you're telling me that I have been fooling myself? Yes, that's exactly what they were telling.
So you might be wondering: How did that make you feel? And what is your "real issue."
Well, to tell you the truth, it didn't devastate me or rock my world. It actually made sense. I had been doubting the usage of the word "anxiety" for some time. And, I had eradicated the word panic a long time before that. It's just that I felt afraid of having a break down or panic attack in public, but I wasn't really panicked about anything else. I had started to describe my sensation more as "uneasiness" than "anxiety".
So, what is my "real" issue? It's actually more emotionally driven. And that certainly makes sense. I've said this over and over again: I think too much. That isn't a bad thing, but I've made thinking into such a habit, that I never let my emotions come out. They've been strangled inside of me for years. And they are fighting to get out. The anxiety - or rather - anguish comes from the constant struggle between my emotions and my thinking. And, boy, is it a struggle. It's like one of those epic battles from the recent comic book movies. No wonder I'm always to exhausted! There are other related topics, but this is the gist of it. I have to work on my emotions and tone down my thoughts. It's kind of a game changer, but it's a game I'm ready to play. ;)
Well, that's it for today. My last challenge post is tomorrow...see ya then.
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